Poky Puppy

Recently we rented The Poky Little Puppy book from the library.  This was my FAVORITE book when I was a little girl. I was so excited to read it to Lily!  Sure enough, Lily loves it too.

However, 35 years down the road and my taste in books must have changed because seriously.  This book is the worst!  So boring, and repetitive, and the mom dog has an attitude problem.

But we read it a lot because I can't resist Lily holding it and sweetly asking "poky widdle puppy, mommy?"...reading all about how the puppies sniffed the air and smelled rice pudding and rushed home through the hole under the fence they had dug and their mom was mad...on and on and on until I returned the book early just to stop reading it for the love of God.

Last night, Lily climbed up her slide in the back yard.  She paused.  She started sniffing the air.  Sniff sniff sniff.  Finally, I said "What are you sniffing, Lily Mae?"

"RICE PUDDING!!" she yelled, slid down the slide, and started running for the door.

Ok, seriously.  That was adorable.

The Feels

I've always been an extremely laid back, optimistic, positive, go with the flow, no-biggie, whatev kind of person.  I remember one day a friend was driving down a one-way street the wrong way.  Cars are headed towards us.  I casually said, "You're going the wrong way." as she proceeded to panic. Ha!

I've always liked that about myself.  Even through a divorce, a job layoff, family illnesses, I remain positive and laidback without even trying.  

Then I had Lily.  And all of that is still there (Thank God!) with one exception: I feel more deeply than I used to. I worry more than I ever have.  I think about the future, and consequences, and pros/cons. And while, as a whole, I love it - it's nice to feel like an adult on occasion, at the tender age of 37 - it's also exhausting.  

I saw a children's book at the library called "If I could keep you little".  The title alone made my eyes sting with tears.  Of course I open it up.  And I read: 

If I could keep you little,I'd tell you stories every night.But then I'd miss you readingThe words you've learned by sight.
.....

If I could keep you little, I'd keep you close to me.   But then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be.

And I started ugly crying.  And then I CHECKED OUT THE BOOK because what better way to continue torturing my poor, mushy heart then by reading this book to Lily for the next two weeks?  

I blinked.

369 days have gone by since my last post. Since then, my baby turned 1, and now my baby has turned 2.  Lately, I have been missing writing about her.

I handled her turning one year old just fine.  But two years old has shook me a little.  I want time to slow down.  I want to bottle up her two-year-old self and never ever let her get big.  I look back at videos and pictures from a year earlier and yearn for her to still have those big chubby cheeks and thighs.  It doesn't help that my oldest stepson attends Navy Nuke school and lives in Charleston, SC now.  My middle stepson leaves for the Army National Guard in a matter of weeks.  Our family of 6 will be a household of 4 soon.  Eep.

Lily's 2nd birthday party was over the weekend.  When she woke up, I remind her: people are coming over, and they may be bringing presents.

"What will you say to them?"  I asked.
"Fank you.  Bess you..And....And...I wuv you."   

Perfect!